am i really that clumsy?

i officially dropped my phone three times today -__-

gosh, clumsy butter fingers me. plus, is this a sign that i should get a new phone? i really do not want to. annoying hands. hehe ;)

and speaking of patience, damn you, i need more of it !

greed eats YOU out, deep within :)

ola.

work
bum
movie
bum
yumcha
bum
gamble?
bum
sleep
bathe
bum
watch tv
go online
yumcha
work

stagnant much eyh? im getting used to working now and getting a hang of marking, more like drawing a big circle in the middle of the page to indicate an all correct work. im also getting used to running off for a short break every two hours, taking turns with tienqi ( since u guys demanded names, hmph ) to run off for nicotine. we tried taking a break together ONCE, which indefinitely got us caught in plain sight although missmabel ( the boss ) was so damn caught up with work. super power eyes, daymn ! got lecturing from her, a short ten second one reminding us that our work station shant be empty. tsk tsk.

on the other hand, my dog becky seems to be getting better by the day and im very glad indeed. feeding her medicine sometimes can be such a pain resulting in me seeing the doctor twice for the bites she cause me on my hand. reminds u of quarantine the movie, no? its nice seeing her hyper although she tends to annoy me.

last weekend was pretty much orgasmic. we headed to cavell's for some jugs of beer and a live band. some moments during the live play felt like we were sitting in shaun's car, if u get what i mean -___-. it was a super fun night i'd say. it was a super different environment as compared to decanter week after week after week !

im pretty saddened that i do not have any NEW pictures so show at the moment

note to self : pls start using the new cam ! its lying there collecting dust. urgh !

have a great week ahead. :)

note to self

1. remember to feed dog twice DAILY.
2. remember to finish antibiotics for self.
3. remember to get to work on time.
4. remember to get your colleague in trouble.
5. remember to buy credit :/

on a brighter note.

no wait, there is no brighter mode !

working lady :)

yay ! finally got my first part time/full time job ;) working at kumon centre which i wont disclosed which outlet as a tutor/papermarker/babysitter???? it pays average minimal wage and the working days are super flexible, me love :) at least i have someone working with me ! hehehehe :) the downside is i dont speak chinese and when the kids ask me something in mandarin i have to ask my FRIEND to translate it in which he calls me dumb -___- thanks !

oh yes, forgot to add that the workers there only take like 1o mins break throughout their whole job hours, which is why if i take more than one break, it would make me look bad !

on a brighter note, taboo session was mind bloggling, WE trying to find out who can get the most cards from the WORSE taboo player of all time describing the word. i think thats enough said. :) u know who you are ! and taboo caused me going late to work with my FRIEND who was due for an interview at the same time. she gave us the black face :) so much for good impressions and i blame the jam. stupid highway !

on an even brighter note, i had the super hot powdered taiwanese sausage moments ago which almost killed me for a moment in which SOME people had fun watching me suffer. hmph. i thought i had sick pleasure, but it seems their's is worse eyh? but the overall experience set me back with a burning tongue which was made worse by downing a medium sized orange juice and munching on ice for ten minutes. would i do it again? i definitely dont know. probably Miss 1333 would consider buying me another round of sausage? just so you know, i hate you too :) HEHEHE

and then, on an even twilight brighter note, i have a friend who was on an euphoric high from downing some black, green and blue label. he wouldnt stopped smilling too T_T. he even offered chicken chop which was cooked to perfection to everyone on that table. i hope banana leaf did you some good. u drove like a mad donkey :) but but, lunch to come right, tsk tsk. u know who u are too :)

oh did i mention i miss playing with worms? heheheheheh !

furthermore/moreover/on the other hand, i havent been going to church in a while, its starting to hit me. i should go soon, like really :(

for all that ive mention, do go figure :)

have a good night

love you :]

p/s: i need to pay saman, soon !

on a cloudy note :(

my dog bit me -___-

went to see the doctor almost 24 hours later, had to wait an hour plus as the clinic was packed crazy !

saw doctor who ask crazy loads of questions.

then took a jab with a friend who wouldnt wipe the smirk of her face -____-

i now have crazy loads of antibiotics and pain killers :)

tmr i might make dog soup, want some? * slurps *

p/s, thats the girl with the smirk on her face -__-

irishlove :]

" i miss jo, i wanna meet jo, i wanna go home"

HEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHHEHEHEH :)

truelove.

apply crumble pie :)

puts a smile to anyones day.

klang in the morning for bat kut teh. indeed a 15 min drive ! nuff said.

btw, those are my a level friends ;)

p/s more chordi sesh??

melt

i want pao :) not bao bao-the panmee.
i want caramel cream, extra caramel, no whip cream.

deprived.

OH BTW :)

i met a cowboy a couple of days back. damn he rocked my socks crazy.

GO FIGURE !

babylove.

ethan sean ling shun jie. :)

im so doing my best to remember the chinese part. urgh !

its been a good month plus, happy one month anniversary baby :)

damn, it sounds fucking wrong.

i love you, love. always. HEHEHE!

oh and before i forget. happy birthday jinn. lessthanyoulongtimetoo.

cheers to more seehams, loklok and good food sessions when ur back :)

oh and not forgetting, more "kungfu" sessions :]

worms :]

worms. me love worms. hehe
ishy squishy mushy worms.
they live in dark brown earth, all curled up.
some skinny, some fat, some long, some short, some baby.
worms. a fishes food. yummylicious as they say.
worms. filled with segments on its body. the sex :)

i got no pictures :( yet that is.

kakchu.this is ur update k? lessthanthreeyou.

next plane home.

today was by far the crankiest day ever. enough said. on a lighter note. daniel powter's- next plane home.............................................................................................................................................

sometimes we make do with what we have in life :)

content and appreciation for what we have and what we think we have. sometimes we can lose it overnight. i thank you for showing me what its like to make some effort. :]

you = kids

today was ethans full moon luncheon. i got up at an ungodly time of 930am as i had to run some errands which include collecting some kuih and heading off to ou to grab two different types of cake. i then came home and proceeded to do some chores which include slicing the sausages into half, which of course were for the KIDS only. guests came, guest left, great conversations, bad conversations, kids making my day, kids still making my day, kids totally made my day ended at 530 pm. i was utterly drained by then -___-. came home wanted to sleeep but needed to get ready for uncle peters birthday dinner. TIRED BALLS. at dinner, eat, eat still eat eat, great conversations, wine, wine, more wine, still more wine, carry ethan, ethan act like a sohai, ethan still acting like a sohai, time to adjourn, home, came online, watch criminal minds, wanted to hit the sack, phone call, someone apparently emo, got conned, minum sesh, home, ONLINE AGAIN cause not as tired as i was before. im bored !

selamat malam :)

im really off to bed now. loves.

ethics and responsibilities

its 12.17 am. tiring, broken, wandering thoughts flew by. it somehow sums up the mood during the exams season. im sitting for my management paper at 1.30 pm today which is in approximately slightly more than 12 hours times. cant wait to get it over and done with. the definitions, terms and concepts, urgh. 'pukes blood'

and my dog is recovering, she is back to her old ways, loud and unexplainable barking, flirting with the neighbours dog, refusing to listen to me, pretending to be weak so that i will carry her upstairs to sleep, giving the puffy eyes to beg for food and always seeking opportunities to steal my stuff ! ok, perhaps steal is too strong a word, but what i mean is that take my stuff, pass it off as hers and then refuses to let me take it of her, bitch !

so looking forward to ethans full moon luncheon and uncle peter's buffet dinner this saturday. a much needed break and rest! perhaps divine help tomorrow night at cell might do me some good eh? utter need to grow in devotion, faithfulness and love for HIM.

however, some caramel cream with extra caramel at this point of time seems to be the perfect solution to everything. have a great night you, cant get you out of my mind :)

peace out.

ps hopefully some pictures galore soon ;]

life.

did i mention, karma hits you so hard the secondtime around !

and im so not a natural mother, ethan cant stop screaming when i was feeding him !

memoirs of a drunkard -part1

*rolls dice*
*dice shows 6*
*moves on to pall mall*
shouts * BUY BUY BUY*
but then told * sorrry already bought*
yen then shows sad face and throws tantrum *why always also buy already, fine la buy la buy la, hmph*
the wonders of monopoly sometimes to a drunkard.

york :]

dey, u left this very morning.

it was pretty painful watching u walk down the escalator.

but it was nice seeing that u left with your parents.

im very sure that made it all the better :]

i was wishing u would shed a tear, but no u didnt. tough nut.

i would pass the gift you ask me to, but buttt the rm 50. U FORGOT !

i would miss you dearly, all the weekly sometimes daily minumsesh, breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, supper, langkawi and the old town kopitiam sesh.

you and the indian will and can pull through. =)

i hope to see you soon,

like u always said this is just a goodbye.

missing you rou. loves :]

just for kicks !

notice the two pictures, they are taken from behind! hehehe? i think im getting way above even my own limits. okaythanksbai ! good night.

oh btw, these are heaven :]

norwegian republic- 8 become 1

no one takes a bow

baby ethan <3 joy.
i chopped my hair off again, the pic is the before :]
wonders on a tuesday night, i am currently watching the amazing race asia, with thoughts squandering my mind. sometimes we tend to unleashed words that we dont mean to say, which i often regret almost immediately. im sorry for what i said, and i mean it, i really do. why do we humans tend to say things that we do not mean without thinking even for a split second, then the human conscience starts kicking in, the feeling of guilt. and thus whats the point of apologizing over and over again, till the word sorry seeems to be overused. we just never seem to learn from out mistakes and we've become very accustomed to just saying sorry to make things seem better, thus taking advantage of the 5 letter word, me included :[



its a rather quiet night i'd say, and actually i am on a one week break from uni. it's such a waste that the raya holidays falls simultaneously during my uni week or else, ill be enjoying more much needed rest. boo. on a random note, does the inflationary pressure in our country becoming so out of control? last time, a green note, meaning the 50 ringgit note used to last for a while but now, one ive broken the 50, it finishes ever so quickly, sometimes in a mere hours ! it's scary and the fact is im not self sufficient, i depend on others for my survival :/



the black one, on the other hand seems to still be very weak. her legs are not doing her really well. and i forgot to feed her the night medicine. it would seem very rude of me to wake her up from her sleep to feed them to her. ill make it up to you tomorrow :] i am not happy the way things are going for her, i would like to live in my own world and pretend that everything its ok, when its not and i need to face reality. you used to frisk yourself up the stairs in a mere seconds but now you cant even make it pass the third stairs. it saddens me when mother told me she saw you sleeping last night on the half way mark of the staircase, the flat platform. this means that you tried climbing up but you couldnt. i know ive never been the best to you at times, sometimes shouting profanities at you for barking so loud till i get aggitated and sometimes getting fed up at you for being so greedy trying to steal our food. id rather see you do these than for me to resort to those actions which would see you go to the place with angels. i am selfish, make me proud and you stay strong and fight those bitch cells ! i is have faith, and you should to :)



ethan, the new born nephew. bundles of joy for the family. screams as if there is no tomorrow, enough said.



furthermore, could this be karma to me? i have not been the best person that ive been. ive sinned and iver definitely hurt myself and others in more way than one, and some even not knowing.



its 1 am now. meaning that it is already raya :] im talking as if i celebrate raya ! hehe. :] cant help but wonder how are you at times like this =) hoping all you malays have a great one !



im so off now. csi ny is my next cure to boredom. so long. lovepeaceandjoy :] do drop becky a prayer if you can, hearts <3



.loves.

-

i see you lying beside my study table looking weak and tired. it has been the same routine for you this past 5 years or so. but now i wonder, if u'll be here with me a week from now. i prayed so hard that you will be because i need and want you so badly. i can never imagine you leaving me, im selfish that way and i love you. please beat the cancer cells, im begging you. im crushed beyond words.



and, where were you when i needed you most. gah

thursdaynight/fridaymorning

yucky pic, but i <3>.
lucky im in love with my best friend

lucky to have been where i have been

lucky to be coming home again.

lucky we're in love in everyway, lucky to have stayed the way that we have stayed.



do i/you/we/they have it all? i envy those who walk with pride daily knowing that they have it all, depending on your definition on whats 'it all'. family love may not be all that important to you if ur satisfied with everything u have may it be a boyfriend or luxury goods, but to the poor, family love maybe all they all and yet contented.



on a brighter note, the sister is scheduled to give birth this sunday. induced of course. i will of course try to be there to welcome my new nephew, yes its a boy ! and of course to welcome more task/chores/cooking chinese herbs/making chinese bathes/changing diapers?? err, guess ill leave it to matilda. THE MAID I WISH COULD SPEAK LOUDER AND STOP SMILING. i would be dethroned the moment he comes into this world, a moment of joy for the family. im no longer the baby of the family !



oh and brad, happy belated birthday. may u have a nice PEEaceful, blissful and wonderful birthday <3


jason mraz- lucky

you :[

today a phone call woke me up at 7.22 pm.
i took a nap upon returning from ou then watching a few episodes of satc*.
it then dawned on me that the sense of loneliness killed me.
the room was dark and quiet. and it only stood becky and i.
it hits me so randomly.
i thought of you when i least expected it.
gah, i hate you.

today feels more jinxed than any other day.


firstly, i received news from my sister that her father in law suffered a heart attack. poor him. i really hope he gets well soon. with the grandson on the way, im sure he wants to be well and healthy to receive the birth. then on the way to uni at the sunway square getting our assignment bind, yen's car suffers a punctured tyre. poor us, assignment were passed up pass the deadline of 4 pm. but it's alright, as everything today seems saturate it all. and lastly during dinner, i heard from my brother that his gf's grandpa has passed on :( though i never met him, its sad to hear such a news. my condolences to jen and her family.





on a lighter note.


was with fei at starbucks, uptown to do some assignment work. note the word 'some'. we then proceeded, or rather i proceeded to do something ingenius with a cardboard when fei was on the phone. hence the pictures. after some light conversation and 8 sticks later i went home to sex and the city.

apparently i heart sarah too :)

btw, i cant help but complain about the sista's maid's cooking. one word. TERRIBLE TO THE CORE. its too salty. i mean i like salty, but hers is salt overload. bad bad. and right now, i conclude that my life revolves around becky and matilda. go figure which one is the dog and the maid. mother had faith in the maid to cook, but no. FAILURE.

more sex and the city in an hour. good night earthlings. <3

kent :)

yen was late, yen is late, yen is still late
grrrrrr.
class was supposed to start at 9am. lalalalala
its 10.54 am now :)
so let me seee what shall i do with you. mmm *yummy*
YEN IS STILL LATE AT HE MOMENT.

bubble gum flings

sweet surrenders

limp and floppy-ness

tender loving care

mountain high princess pampered life

which one would u choose?

indeed ive proven my other new theory

'never say never' baby :)

life had its boundaries,

sometimes we choose to cross them, sometimes we choose to hold back,

its cause we fear, we fear to see what beholds us,

we often say that being a child is the best as we have nothing to worry about,

people often make decisions for us, they dictate the way we live as a child,

im 19, its time to cross those boundaries, do things i'd never dare do in the past,

at least i can say i tried, its a sense of self satisfaction.

we dont wanna live in the shadow and be a follower all our lives,

however the fear, ive just learn a few days ago that,

there is nothing to fear accept fear itself !

loves.

jolin <3

wassup mamasan! hello. *waves* :D
i are bored. see we're in the library doing shits.
i mean well, YOU are fucking around lah.
i'm printing notes.
nice ah fuck around? :)
anyhoos, we came to uni for nuts. wtf.
i drove all the way here wey. waste life -_-"
next week you drive lah k. i hate driving on mondays wth.
you read me well sweetie.
:)
maybe you can marry ivan someday.
i want to be your maid of honour okay.
i want a vera wang dress.
can we go home now, please?
PRETTY PLEASE. i need to finish my assignment.
i'll buy you something nice from sydney?
maybe they have nice kinky sex toys for you there.
want want? :D
let's go drink teh o ais now lah.
don't wait for ivan can? he's taking forever. -_-"
hehehe. see see your wedding day, the fella make you wait at the altar.
alter or altar? HA HA i don't know. i think it's altar.
this is why i don't score well for exams.
i'm not very smart. but wait, i'm a bit smart. a bit. :D *grins*
but mamasan, i learn from you. i learn from the best.
seriously, let's go teh o ais now. okay see you in a few seconds.
loves you long time.
*heartheart*





lots and lots of yen love,
yen. :)

smooches

"aubergine. terung. egg plant. brinjal. come and catch me now" sarny.





chucchy has finally arrived safely in ireland and is jacking the comp of her irish roomie, which i choose to presume is a girl. apparently the girls and boys are separated. but knowing chucchy, it wont stop her from doing something out of the ordinary, right?? katie perry :)





had a conversation with a friend. not talking to you definitely helped. im happy where i am right now. thank you to you and the forever faithful one. :) and to you, u can do it too and u know it !!





uni. boring. enough said.





decisions. praying and hoping for the best. guide me guide me !





jo<3.

mojo:)

teardrops

u left.

its only for the best, may you succeed in life.

study hard, dont disappoint us and ur parents.

have faith and dont be a slut nor a junkie ;)

ill always have ur back be it anywhere we may be.

i hope to hear from u soon.

trust me when i say that, i WILL see u again someday.

it doesnt matter when.

cause ull always have a space in my heart.

i miss u kok chu chian !

<3333333

p/s technology never fails to reunite us :)

mariah carey- they cant take that away from me.

i surprise myself sometimes.
i thought im strong.
and filled with sick pleasure.
but apparently im wrong.
just 24 hours and u will be leaving.
arghh. HEARTS <3

lame,beyondlame :(

yay, im happy u didnt burse my bubble :)
moving on, its 1.47 on a bright saturday afternoon,
the sister is up in genting. with the 8 month old belly, makes me wonder.
i was rudely awaken by the courier man this morning, to which i couldnt be bothered to go wave at him by the window and then proceed to collect the parcel. he left a note by the door. *dont tell mummy i was lazy*

last night, went to church, rev bernard blessing held a healing encounter.
im kinda disappointed with myself that i didnt make the best outta it.
was distracted i must say.

today, im more than hurt
ive already said, i cannot suffer another setback.
uve once again killed me.

attimes,iwisheditdidnthappen :/

the weather is all gloomy and cold. it has been raining on and off the whole day. eee.

as i was lying on the bed this afternoon, thinking whilst trying to take a nap, a thought came by,

i wish that the weekend would come sooner as i kinda dread uni. -__-

but as i hope for the weekend, monday the 1st of september is drawing closer day by day,

as u leave, it saddens me.

i'll miss weekend dinners without you, miss bimbotic moments with you, i'll miss you 'directing' me in the car with your hands although it makes no sense, i'll miss mocking you and vice versa.

i think it'll be a while till i see you again but fate will reunite us someday.

but this farewell will do you a lot of good definitely :)

come back and make us proud, doctor kok.

<33333>

today uni was fine. had accounting lecture and economics tutorial.

finally concluded that my econs tutorial teacher has a fake eye. its constantly in the same position and his eye-lids doesnt blink. felt weird staring directly at him for at least 5 minutes to 'pastikan' fairuz's conclusion.

went to the library to amend mistakes in the assignment before finally passing it up at 1.15 pm. its a relieve. then someone jacked me. i wonder why -___-"

life is all about making choices,

some good and some bad,

and it can get very tiring sometimes.

honestly, im at my breaking point and im this close to giving up.

i dont know whats keeping me together at this moment.

but im thankful for it.

im not as strong as i use to be,

im willing to falter if i have to so that i dont have to make a choice.

on a random note : remember the time we stole a cone from the curveeeee ;)

and i miss college days :(

criminal minds is on :D

have a great night.

gofigure.

a very random shout out

to you : you are a slut,will always be a slut. you are going over to the uk. be good. and stop fucking around. its annoying. and if all goes well, ill see u soon, depending. pray and hope for the best <3>

to you : stupid doctor. ill never come see you when im sick except for those anti depression pills. remember WE want them not in bottles but cartons. have fun boozing in ireland. will not miss you. skype skype baby ! hearts

to you : you are my mamasan la. no one can beat u at that. enough said. sayangs u loads :)

to you : you ah. well ur bimbo enough on its own. remember, you will always be a liability. a long term one, mind you. but ill still pour my love to you. SYMPHATY that is. smoooches

to you : stop leaving your laptop around, its very annoying. although nothing has happen, it doesnt mean it will NEVER happen. *throws hugs and kisses* btw, come friday, ill let u know if ill be there. u get my drift ;)

thats all for now,that is.

<3

ontheunbeatentrack :)

i walk, i eat, i sleep, i shit, i cry, i run, i fumble, i breath, i live, i give-up, i hate, i love, i bitch, i gossip, i totally loath you, i miss, love me or hate me.

joooo <3

in this world, no one is perfect, ill never believe in saying 'never' again. after all, it fits the saying, 'never say never'. we human do the unthinkable sometimes. never underestimate yourself sometimes. have faith :)