baby ethan <3 joy.
i chopped my hair off again, the pic is the before :]
wonders on a tuesday night, i am currently watching the amazing race asia, with thoughts squandering my mind. sometimes we tend to unleashed words that we dont mean to say, which i often regret almost immediately. im sorry for what i said, and i mean it, i really do. why do we humans tend to say things that we do not mean without thinking even for a split second, then the human conscience starts kicking in, the feeling of guilt. and thus whats the point of apologizing over and over again, till the word sorry seeems to be overused. we just never seem to learn from out mistakes and we've become very accustomed to just saying sorry to make things seem better, thus taking advantage of the 5 letter word, me included :[



its a rather quiet night i'd say, and actually i am on a one week break from uni. it's such a waste that the raya holidays falls simultaneously during my uni week or else, ill be enjoying more much needed rest. boo. on a random note, does the inflationary pressure in our country becoming so out of control? last time, a green note, meaning the 50 ringgit note used to last for a while but now, one ive broken the 50, it finishes ever so quickly, sometimes in a mere hours ! it's scary and the fact is im not self sufficient, i depend on others for my survival :/



the black one, on the other hand seems to still be very weak. her legs are not doing her really well. and i forgot to feed her the night medicine. it would seem very rude of me to wake her up from her sleep to feed them to her. ill make it up to you tomorrow :] i am not happy the way things are going for her, i would like to live in my own world and pretend that everything its ok, when its not and i need to face reality. you used to frisk yourself up the stairs in a mere seconds but now you cant even make it pass the third stairs. it saddens me when mother told me she saw you sleeping last night on the half way mark of the staircase, the flat platform. this means that you tried climbing up but you couldnt. i know ive never been the best to you at times, sometimes shouting profanities at you for barking so loud till i get aggitated and sometimes getting fed up at you for being so greedy trying to steal our food. id rather see you do these than for me to resort to those actions which would see you go to the place with angels. i am selfish, make me proud and you stay strong and fight those bitch cells ! i is have faith, and you should to :)



ethan, the new born nephew. bundles of joy for the family. screams as if there is no tomorrow, enough said.



furthermore, could this be karma to me? i have not been the best person that ive been. ive sinned and iver definitely hurt myself and others in more way than one, and some even not knowing.



its 1 am now. meaning that it is already raya :] im talking as if i celebrate raya ! hehe. :] cant help but wonder how are you at times like this =) hoping all you malays have a great one !



im so off now. csi ny is my next cure to boredom. so long. lovepeaceandjoy :] do drop becky a prayer if you can, hearts <3



.loves.